Thursday, October 2, 2008

Don't Read This...unless you think kittens are cute

Politics.
What can be more boring or more frustrating?
I am registered to vote where I used to go to college. I really have been meaning to register a little closer to home. Then I see the message that completely turns me off.
I don't know if you guys have seen it, but there is a internet video where celebrities tell you "Don't vote. There's no point."
Let me tell you this you famous rich people, reverse psychology didn't work when my mom used it. It's not gonna work now! The video is about four minutes long and half the time A-listers such as; Ashton Kutcher, Dustin Hoffman, Will.i.am(wyclef jean part 2), Tobey "sorry about the last spiderman movie" mcguire, halle berry(obama's sister?) and plenty more celebs that we should love, continue to say "Don't vote, it's not like you care about your kids' education." After ranting about global warming and gay rights, they tell us that if we really did care, then why don't we vote. Leonardo "nards" Dicrapio tells us that if we were able to watch all of those overpaid hypocrites (not his words) and not register to vote, then there is nothing else that will change our minds.
Unbelievable!
Did I hear that right? Did Leo just give up on me? Have mercy Leo. I do care about the environment, how else can I drill to get gasoline?
The funny thing is that 99 percent of Hollywood are flaming liberals. The 3 conservatives out there are hiding their true selves or are already out of work at this very moment. If you have ever asked the question "Hey, whatever happened to..." Now you know the answer, they came out of the closet and declared themselves Republicans. For Shame! It's straight to DVD for them now.
Why don't these celebrities just say what is really on their minds. Don't vote... for McCain. Wouldn't they feel better if they just let it all out? Do they think that all young people are gonna vote for their candidate? That might actually be the case for college students. I could and will go on about the liberal brainwashing that takes place in our prestigious universities. For another time. 
I'm not kidding you about the crazy bias out there! I was watching "Access Hollywood." Don't tell anyone. I love my gossip. They showed a story that described "At home with the Obamas." The future first family is seen laughing and kidding around, and Billy Bush is yukking it up while licking Obama's shoes. The next second they show a preview which says "Coming up next, we look at Sarah Palin and the lies you have never heard." Of course they show the absolute worst picture of Palin they can(one that looks like me in the morning). 
Back to the celebrity video. I would not have been surprised to hear when it finally ends. "My name is Barack Obama and I approve this message."
I'm calling you out movie stars. You get ten million bucks a movie. What are you doing? (besides fundraisers for hurricane Katrina. i.e. Bush's fault) Why aren't you giving at least half of your salary to us middle classers you so strongly plead to? I'm sure charities wouldn't mind if you gave up your salary you received for "I am sam." By the way, you are not the biggest humanitarian if you illegally adopt 17 babies from third world countries.
I would like to apologize to my 4 readers for my ranting. I just have so many questions.

Why are movies so good but celebrities such morons?

Who are these closet-conservative celebrities? 
- I'm thinking Brendan Fraser, Harrison Ford, and possibly Keanu Reeves. Keep it in the closet guys.

Is there one joke in this blog?

Anyways, I'm gonna take Sarah Silverman's advice and not register.
I don't mind being a sloth. 

6 comments:

Snip Snip said...

just do what I do.. Vote for Nader... It's as good as not voting in our system, but you can still sleep at night. Oh and I am watching Leno as I type and Dennis Miller just said he is gonna vote for Mccain... Ironic on two levels...so that should please all you republicans out there.

Snip Snip said...

oh and on a follow-up note to my last comment...I would take Dennis Miller over Leo as my parties spoke celebrity any day!

Matt said...

It would be easier to register to vote if you were homeless in Ohio...I hear there are buses going around and picking these people up for same-day registration.

tara said...

So glad I've tracked you down--cuz good gracious I've missed your hilariousness. You may remember me as Jen's friend..back in the day of Pineview #34..Ü
Anyway..You took the words right out of my mouth on this post..lame celebrities!
Keep posting..forget school-you can make a living out of blogging I've heard..

DeeAura said...

HAhah...Ken, it's been so long you might have to try really hard to remember me, but I forgot how freaking hilarious you are! Thanks for the truth/entertainment. :) A great break from work. Err...I mean...my lunch break. Yyyyeah....

Andy said...

I'm not voting either. I heard both candidates eat black children. Well... that may not be true. But I heard they both have black children that they probably consider eating.