Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Better Dead Than Read

If you have tried watching NBC at all lately to catch the latest Conan O'Brien, or for those low-brow readers "America's Got Talent," you may have noticed multiple ethnicities swinging on bars, throwing disci (plural discuses), jumping off the high dives, etc. Yes, it's time once again for the Olympics.
I actually love watching the Olympics. They are full of broken world records and failures. Good drama. Let's not forget how great Michael Phelps has done. He has single handedly given the U.S. half of its gold medals.
So to start with my rant on the olympics, let's talk about China. So I'm not the biggest fan of China or communism, for that matter. China's lack of consideration for human life is pretty despicable. That said, they will probably be the biggest superpower in the world in the near future. Funny thing though, they have actually treated Americans pretty respectably, more so than any European(see also Euro-Trash) country would.
So China is killing the U.S. in the gold medal count, and their athletes seem invincible. I'm pretty sure they are robots who cannot be beaten. (All those robots look the same to me) Kudos to them for doing so awesome, though a part of me sees the turn of the tide from Chinese Olympic victory towards Chinese world victory. Now don't get me wrong about China. Some of the coolest things have come from there: Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Stephen Chow movies (Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer), and Bruce Lee.
Funny how all those guys are involved with Martial Arts. Funny how much I generalize.
But let's not forget China's greatest contribution to the world - Sharing! It is a little known fact that sharing was invented by the Chinese. If you are calling me crazy right now, then think of the last time you had Chinese food and shared it with your friends/family. And let's not forget that it is a communist country.

Communism = Forced Sharing

"Chinese food is the most virtuous of all foods" - Buddha

Ok, now this leads me to why I wanted to write about the Beijing Olympics in the first place. So Chinese athletes are so disciplined, often starting their olympic training at the age of 14 months, then competing at age 5 1/2. (as seen in women's gymnastics this year) Being this disciplined and having the conspiracy theory mind I have, I often think that the government has enforced them to train so rigorously. When they win the gold they are so happy in their triumphs and are rewarded for their dedication to their country. (The reward being that their family is freed and not killed) But I often look to those Chinese olympians who receive a mere silver medal. They never have a happy look on their face. Never. I have a feeling that the olympians who get a silver medal walk off the medal podium and go straight to the execution chamber. Those athletes who win bronze are slowly tortured till death. Just a crazy thought but I'm pretty sure I'm right. You can see it in their robotic faces.


The Hypocritical One said...

Every night as we watch, we play the "who's getting killed if you get the silver game" for China.

They are elated when they get the gold for no reason other than this.

Snip Snip said...

Yeah the Chinese are Sooo Lame!

Dan da Man said...

"Yeah the Chinese are Sooo Lame"

Dont say that in China or they will take your nuts off

Snip Snip said...

Major, I just wanted to say I am so proud to be linked from your page... I feel like I have a reason to live... But Im probably just being overly optimistic again