Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Ice to meet you...


So, I just got tickets to The Dark Knight for the midnight show the night before it releases. I try not to "nerd out" too much, but for an even such as this, it's hard not to pull out the second-hand faded Batman shirt I bought my sophomore year in high school (which didn't fit even then) and wear it every day in anticipation. I have a feeling that it could beat out my favorite movie "Bring it on" and take its rightful place at the top. Though, as I think of how great this movie could be and Batman Begins was, I think of Batman's tarnished past. The atrocities that were Batman Forever & especially Batman and Robin.
Batman and Robin was amazingly terrible. And not even entertaining terrible. Awful cast, awful costumes, and an awful disservice to Batman himself. First off, George "Bobble Head" Clooney as Batman? Come on! Yeah I guess the ladies like him, but I'm pretty sure Batman movies are not being marketed to any demographic other than the 13-48 year old, cheeto eatin', profusive sweatin', halo playin' geeks. Now, don't get me wrong about Arnold Swarzennegger, I love the guy, he's pretty hilarious(see also 'punching a camel in Conan the Barbarian'). And yes, I love puns, in fact I think it's a dying art. So you think throwing those two in that cinematic blender would be stuff of legend, but sadly Arnie playing Mr. Freeze is dreadful. Though, I do giggle like a school girl when I hear him say "Cool party." and "Chill out." Comic gold! As for the costumes, since when does the dark knight need rubber nipples on his outfit? Do they invoke fear among criminals? Possibly they give him better aerodynamics, while gliding to save gay robin.
Batman is the coolest comic book character ever. It's rumored that he even beat Chuck Norris in a fight. It is a good thing that the recent movies have kept a darker tone, no need for the flourescent lights and glow-stick raver bummers(see also gays) in the previously mentioned Batman movies.
I could probably go on about this for a while, but it seems I've already outed myself as King Dork, so if you'll excuse me I'm gonna be wiping cheeto crumbs from my keyboard.

5 comments:

Dan da Man said...

I think you might get you hopes up and no movie could live up to it

The Hypocritical One said...

Did you see this movie is coming in at 2 hours and 30 minutes? It'd better be good....or else Christian Bale better take his shirt off a few times. (so my wife will enjoy it and keep my awake)

Major Undeclared said...

True story, though, the reviews i have read make godfather II comparisons. Plus, i'm so biased, even if it's awful, I will still claim to love it.

MeatWad said...

First, nobody beats Chuck Norris in a fight. Second, rubber nipples and a hearty cod-piece make him batman...gotta have 'em. Jack was good, but I think this Joker may take the cake....broke back or no.

Seth said...

I hear you about trying to put on our awesome t-shirts from our high school days. I tried to put on my "Esteem Team" shirt the other day and I couldn't put my arms down it was so tight. Ugh. We need to go to Savers to buy some new shirts that our wives won't let us wear.